Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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