where am i from again
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
