Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
