haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dear god my vagina.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
