I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
