well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize