Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
