i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
