I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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