I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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