The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
