Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
