I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
