I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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