is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
