After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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