I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize