he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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