Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
