I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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