some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize