are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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