I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
