Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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