i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
