Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I know her cup size but not her name....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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