remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
