They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
