You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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