she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Mom said you looked used
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Come share oat with me in your robe
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize