I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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