if you like me you must not know who I am
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
