The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
