He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
