Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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