The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dick very happy bro
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
