so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
