No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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