Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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