We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize