Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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