we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
