I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
