Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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