I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
vagina is talking i cant
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
