It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize