Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
