I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
the raccoons are back...
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