Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
this will be a night to untag.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
