hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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