she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
