It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
