i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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