A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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