i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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