Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
