once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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