Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
