You smell like stripper and shame
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
