The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize