Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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