Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
PANTIES FOUND
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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