I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
