yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
