I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
