fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
