I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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