I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
